Iron Man? Ironless

So as I'm watching Iron Man, the last thing I expect to happen in the midst of all the U.S. propaganda-style self-love is a comment that would get my vegan senses tingling. Well, apparently Marvel has marvelous expertise in all areas of "American" stereotypes. As Tony Stark returns from captivity, he refuses medical care and demands "an American cheeseburger." When he continues to refuse hospitalization and pushes his meat-eating agenda, the audience applauses and explodes with laughter. I, on the other hand, can't help but feel disgusted that such an unhealthy and inhumane way of living has taken such a hold on our society.

What was the above story leading up to you ask? As a result of this meat-loving society we live in, I often observe several very similar reactions and responses when someone learns of my veganism, and I've decided to make a list.

What do you eat?
Well, I don't know. You're right. Even though the majority of the food on the food pyramid is vegan, I don't know what to eat. It's not like I can consume grains, vegetables, fruits, and legumes or anything.

Where do you get your protein?
Oh my gosh I hadn't thought of this. I mean there definitely isn't protein in potatoes and everything else I eat. Surely I can never build any muscle and I will waste away so as not to threaten your preconceived notions about nutrition.

So, why are you vegan? [after some explanation on my part] I feel the need to defend my position even though I just asked you to defend yours.
Yes. You are awesome for what you eat. I can see how being uneducated about alternative diets could lead you to believe your diet is the only path.

Animals were put on earth for us to eat. It's just natural for us to eat and exploit them for their products.
Ah, of course. Like that one time when we had to build tools and machines to kill and collect animal products. Or when we selectively bred and domesticated many different species, practically destroying biodiversity. That was awesome and definitely natural.

Is _______ vegan? [fill in the blank with yogurt, cheese, sour cream, etc.]
No.
Oh, right. That's dairy lols!

If we don't eat cows, they will go extinct! How inhumane of you.
Oh, I'm sorry. You are totally right. By creating a demand for cow production, you're saving the species. Not to mention that you're causing the births of even more cows that will end up suffering on factory farms until their brutal and untimely deaths. And also that supply and demand don't work overnight, so how could slowly weaning the industry off of beef eliminate an entire species?

Cows have to produce milk. We're just relieving them.
I find that human mothers always produce milk, and it's especially painful by the time the child is in high school.

Okay, so those were just a few of the many questions and statements vegans receive. There are simply too many for just one post. I also wanted to correct my previous post. It turns out progesterone is not in birth control pills. The pills contain a progestin.